Earning Stripes
They say every experience as a Volunteer teaches you something, and I feel like in the last week I have learned a lot about myself and Panama.
A week ago Thursday, I got hit with a chest cold like a brick. Sunday, my eye was so gooey I couldn't open it, and had to make a trip back to the city for pink eye antibiotics. Back in site Tuesday, I did nothing but sleep and use the latrine until I 'cried uncle' on Thursday and came back to the city AGAIN. This time a bacterial infection in my digestive system.
Hey, when I get sick, I don't mess around. Don't worry, I am currently on the mend and feeling like a human for the first time in about 10 days and am excited to see Panama from the other side. Cuz when you're sick, this country can suck. But then again, what country doesn't when you're sick?
Regardless, I learned stuff. And that's important.
I learned how much my host family in site genuinely cares about me- each time I said I needed to get out of site for medical care they lined up a boat for me to take me up river immediately. My host mom stressed out over what I wasn't eating and that I was sleeping all the time, and has made it her personal mission to make sure that I am the same weight when I finish here that I was when I got here. I keep explaining that it's just the nature of adjustment and my life here, but that doesn't mean she doesnt keep stuffing me with rice.
I got more practice travel across Panama. A LOT more practice. Boats, chivas, taxis, buses, and more taxis.
I got myself lost and unlost in downtown Panama looking for the medical lab, the pharmacy, the grocery store, and then my hotel more than 3 times. The upside of walking is that you can't get yourself THAT far off track very quickly.
I learned how to make myself feel better when I am by myself. Because although I have gone through a lot of minutes on my phone this week and seen PC staff, I have not seen another Volunteer nor anyone from home throughout this entire ordeal. Who knew my sense of humor could work even on myself?
And most importantly, I am learning patience. That's a daily one with me, and I am by no means there yet. But this week has definitely been a huge lesson in being patient with myself, being patient with the rest of Panama, and being patient with life in general. I want to be all better, I want to be back in site, I want to be back in the city, I want to see someone, and I want it RIGHT NOW. That's how I am. But that's not how life works here. So I'm being patient. And it's working. Slowly. Like I said, we're not there yet.
Sometimes you have to just BE. (I can HEAR my college voice teacher Stan telling me this a lot.) When you are sweating like crazy in site and you are unbearably hot, just stop. Stop doing, stop moving, stop thinking. Just sit still for a few minutes and take a few deep breaths, and sure enough, in a few minutes, you can feel the slight breeze on your neck and your body temp drops about half a degree. But it helps.
When you're the first one on a bus and know that it is going to be potentially hours before it fills up enough to actually leave, take a deep breath, and stretch out to enjoy the leg room. God knows it's temporary.
When you are standing at the side of the road waiting for a chiva that legitimately might never come, take pictures of the scenery. Mental pictures if your camera died. You're only going to live this once.
When you are laying in your hut staring at the ceiling begging for sleep but you know you're gonna have to go back out to the latrine in 20 minutes, get out the ipod and rock out until that battery dies. If you're that sick, you know you are going to be spending the next night in the city anyway so you can recharge it then.
It's all about counting the number of days accomplished, not the number of days left. And I am quickly coming up on my 100th day in Panama in a few weeks. I think I am going to go celebrate by making a trip back to the city to see the Batman movie with some other Volunteers.
Until next time,
Peace, love, and gaff tape.
A week ago Thursday, I got hit with a chest cold like a brick. Sunday, my eye was so gooey I couldn't open it, and had to make a trip back to the city for pink eye antibiotics. Back in site Tuesday, I did nothing but sleep and use the latrine until I 'cried uncle' on Thursday and came back to the city AGAIN. This time a bacterial infection in my digestive system.
Hey, when I get sick, I don't mess around. Don't worry, I am currently on the mend and feeling like a human for the first time in about 10 days and am excited to see Panama from the other side. Cuz when you're sick, this country can suck. But then again, what country doesn't when you're sick?
Regardless, I learned stuff. And that's important.
I learned how much my host family in site genuinely cares about me- each time I said I needed to get out of site for medical care they lined up a boat for me to take me up river immediately. My host mom stressed out over what I wasn't eating and that I was sleeping all the time, and has made it her personal mission to make sure that I am the same weight when I finish here that I was when I got here. I keep explaining that it's just the nature of adjustment and my life here, but that doesn't mean she doesnt keep stuffing me with rice.
I got more practice travel across Panama. A LOT more practice. Boats, chivas, taxis, buses, and more taxis.
I got myself lost and unlost in downtown Panama looking for the medical lab, the pharmacy, the grocery store, and then my hotel more than 3 times. The upside of walking is that you can't get yourself THAT far off track very quickly.
I learned how to make myself feel better when I am by myself. Because although I have gone through a lot of minutes on my phone this week and seen PC staff, I have not seen another Volunteer nor anyone from home throughout this entire ordeal. Who knew my sense of humor could work even on myself?
And most importantly, I am learning patience. That's a daily one with me, and I am by no means there yet. But this week has definitely been a huge lesson in being patient with myself, being patient with the rest of Panama, and being patient with life in general. I want to be all better, I want to be back in site, I want to be back in the city, I want to see someone, and I want it RIGHT NOW. That's how I am. But that's not how life works here. So I'm being patient. And it's working. Slowly. Like I said, we're not there yet.
Sometimes you have to just BE. (I can HEAR my college voice teacher Stan telling me this a lot.) When you are sweating like crazy in site and you are unbearably hot, just stop. Stop doing, stop moving, stop thinking. Just sit still for a few minutes and take a few deep breaths, and sure enough, in a few minutes, you can feel the slight breeze on your neck and your body temp drops about half a degree. But it helps.
When you're the first one on a bus and know that it is going to be potentially hours before it fills up enough to actually leave, take a deep breath, and stretch out to enjoy the leg room. God knows it's temporary.
When you are standing at the side of the road waiting for a chiva that legitimately might never come, take pictures of the scenery. Mental pictures if your camera died. You're only going to live this once.
When you are laying in your hut staring at the ceiling begging for sleep but you know you're gonna have to go back out to the latrine in 20 minutes, get out the ipod and rock out until that battery dies. If you're that sick, you know you are going to be spending the next night in the city anyway so you can recharge it then.
It's all about counting the number of days accomplished, not the number of days left. And I am quickly coming up on my 100th day in Panama in a few weeks. I think I am going to go celebrate by making a trip back to the city to see the Batman movie with some other Volunteers.
Until next time,
Peace, love, and gaff tape.
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